Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
   A hungry young fox once chased after a plump rabbit, intending to catch his dinner. However, just before the fox could capture his prey, the rabbit disappeared into its warren.
   Being young, the fox was unsure of how he might force the rabbit out of hiding, and decided to seek advice. He ran to his mother's den, explained his trouble and listened carefully to her instructions. To be doubly sure, he also visited his grandmother and asked for her opinion. Still worried that he did not know enough, he further enquired of his uncle. Then he lay down and carefully thought through what he had been told.
   At last, feeling confident in his newfound knowledge, he returned to the warren and found that the rabbit had moved on.

Much knowledge cannot replace swift action.
For `fllnthblnk's contest. An attempt at walking the fine line between preachiness and obscurity. Criticism on whether I achieved that in any degree, or on anything else, is more than welcome.

24/6: Added some more detail to the fox's quest for advice, thanks to some good advice given to me.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkreepingspawn:
KreepingSpawn Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
in the finest tradition of Aesop! :clap:
simple form and direct language make this very effective. i like that you do not go into detail of what the fox learned from his elders, as this does not pertain to the thrust of the story. ;)
Reply
:iconpaperdart:
PaperDart Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2010   Writer
Thanks muchly! Glad you liked it. :)
Reply
:iconarcharad:
ArchArad Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2010
Congratulations on a well-deserved 2nd place my dear! :clap:

I agree with `ATrue that a little more detail on who he spoke to and what they said may round out the story a bit more.
Reply
:iconpaperdart:
PaperDart Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2010   Writer
Thank you. :) I have added a bit in. :nod:
Reply
:iconnewpapers:
Newpapers Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2010  Student General Artist
congrats on getting second place!
It must've been hard thinking up a fable. :D
Reply
:iconpaperdart:
PaperDart Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2010   Writer
Thanks! This one was just a case of giving my subconscious a chance. :P There was nothing for a week or two, and then all of a sudden, out of the void, there was something.
Reply
:iconnewpapers:
Newpapers Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2010  Student General Artist
ahh.....sometime trying hard won't help, but relaxing and thinking about other stuff will,yes? :D
Reply
:iconpaperdart:
PaperDart Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2010   Writer
:iconyesyesyesplz:
Reply
:iconfaeriecrone:
faeriecrone Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2010
:frail:
Reply
:iconatrue:
ATrue Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2010
This is excellent in concept. The moral is clear and defined. My only suggestion would be to elaborate on what the fox did and who he spoke to on his hunt for knowledge. The description of his hunt is so short, it really don't feel like he acted less than swiftly. :)
Reply
:iconpaperdart:
PaperDart Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2010   Writer
Thank you! I see what you mean--I think I will add a little bit more there.
Reply
:iconfllnthblnk:
fllnthblnk Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
:winner: Congratulations! :winner:

Your entry into the Fable Me This! Literature Contest has been awarded 2nd place.

Thank you for entering and please check out this news article for the rest of the results!
Reply
:iconpaperdart:
PaperDart Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2010   Writer
:jawdrop: Wow! Thanks very much!
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
It's so concise! I am envious: the message is clear and neither too preachy nor too obscure. I would recommend splitting it into paragraphs--the "At last" should be on its own to show the passage of time, for one...but the rest of it is fine.
Reply
:iconpaperdart:
PaperDart Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2010   Writer
Thank you! I'm glad you think so.

I wasn't sure about paragraphs; I've added them now, but I'm still a bit iffy.
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Sure!

Hmm, now I'm iffy about paragraphs. It was easy for me to see this one illustrated--maybe only the 'At last' line should get it? :shrug: It's much clearer upon viewing.
Reply
:iconitti:
Itti Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Ooh, I wanted to enter that but I didn't get round to it. I liked reading yours! How did you pick a moral?
Reply
:iconpaperdart:
PaperDart Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2010   Writer
Thanks! It grew out of a decision that I needed to actually write more and stop saying that I need to understand the 'theory' first. :D That decision's probably the only reason the piece got written, appropriately enough!
Reply
:iconnym226:
Nym226 Featured By Owner May 30, 2010
It ain't preachy, and it ain't obscure. At least, I seem to think so. xD

But it isn't too obvious as the moral of the story, so it makes a nice balance. :aww:

Whether this helps or not I don't know, I'm just catching up from the share yesterday. XD
Reply
:iconpaperdart:
PaperDart Featured By Owner May 31, 2010   Writer
Thank you. Positive feedback is helpful, too. :nod: And nice! :star:
Reply
:iconnym226:
Nym226 Featured By Owner May 31, 2010
You're welcome! ♥
Reply
:iconnordica93:
Nordica93 Featured By Owner May 28, 2010  Student Writer
:icongimmefeedback:

Many fables are what you might call 'preachy,' but they curb this by having a sharp sense of wit. If you're worried about seeming condescending, try elaborating on what the others animals say or comically inflate the fox's confidence; this makes the climax all the more funnier and universally true. But as far as I can see, your own little fable is fine in terms of style and presenting its morals. Great job.

(By an extraordinary coincidence, I had just written my own little fable for the fun of it, and did not realise there was a contest on. Thanks for unintentionally introducing me to it. Have a llama!)
Reply
:iconpaperdart:
PaperDart Featured By Owner May 29, 2010   Writer
Mmm, good point. Thank you!

I'm glad you found the contest. :D
Reply
:icondemonofsarila:
DemonOfSarila Featured By Owner May 28, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:icongimmefeedback:
say advise and careful planning have their place but you need to know when to use them, and when to not. Probably not the best to judge that, but I think it achieved that. i don't know, it's interesting to me, because yes some decisions need swift action, but many I find it's better to consider. and interesting how it's a case where knowledge and advise are the same thing, because advise isn't always the best knowledge.
Reply
:iconpaperdart:
PaperDart Featured By Owner May 29, 2010   Writer
Yes, very true. :nod: I shall think about how best to rephrase some of this. Thank you for the feedback!
Reply
:icondemonofsarila:
DemonOfSarila Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
and thank u for ur feedback on my stuff :)
Reply
:iconpaperdart:
PaperDart Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2010   Writer
:) You're welcome.
Reply
:icondoodlee-a:
Doodlee-a Featured By Owner May 27, 2010  Student Digital Artist
Oooh, touche. I personally prefer the knowledge, because "if you give a person a fish, he will eat for a day. If you teach a person to fish, he will eat for a lifetime." But you have caught me with the bird in the hand! Well done!
Reply
:iconpaperdart:
PaperDart Featured By Owner May 29, 2010   Writer
Thanks. :) There's definitely a balance between the two perspectives!
Reply
:icondoodlee-a:
Doodlee-a Featured By Owner May 29, 2010  Student Digital Artist
Soo true.
Reply
:iconaro-chan:
Aro-chan Featured By Owner May 27, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I think that this is a winner :XD:
Reply
:iconpaperdart:
PaperDart Featured By Owner May 29, 2010   Writer
Hehe - thank you. :D There are some awfully good entries though!
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconpaperdart: More from PaperDart



Details

Submitted on
May 27, 2010
File Size
899 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
965
Favourites
2 (who?)
Comments
32
×